Dark Chocolate-Coconut Banana (NOT) Ice Cream



What’s up with fake food? Or is it faux food? Or faux füd? Like if we spell it wrong, it’s ok. Like cheez. I don’t want to eat cheez. I want to eat CHEESE. I want it to taste like CHEESE. I don’t want you throwing a different letter in and expecting it to be ok (no offense, z, you are the most short changed letter in the English alphabet and perhaps the cutest of the bunch). I read an interesting article at some point along this nutritional journey that pushed readers not to think of non-meat protein as “fake meat”, vegetarian burgers as “meat substitute”, non dairy milk as “fake milk”, and forget about the cheez. Cheez is just blasphemous. So call it what it is. Doesn’t burger refer to a shape of some kind of compacted food–not necessarily meat–so call it a bean burger or a veggie burger, not fake meat. Milk is generally thought of as a whitish colored creamy beverage that is expressed from something else. So almond milk… that works for me. Cheese seems to deal with the consistency of the food and that it is creamy. Cashew cheese is great. Cashew Cheez, not so great. And that goes double for Bloo Cheez.

Do I actually have a point here and where is the recipe? Well, my point is don’t call foods what they are not in hopes that they will be better accepted. Case in point, frozen banana dessert. Should it be called ice cream? My ice cream loving friend who shall go nameless says no way. When you call it ice cream, you set up an expectation, and frozen bananas–which may be great FROZEN BANANAS–are not ice cream. Like the vegan “cheesecake” I made for Christmas this year. It was made from cashews and tofu. I decorated it beautifully with tropical fruits and berries. It was festive. It was tasty. It was healthy. It was not cheesecake. To call it cheesecake missed the boat on so many levels–took away from what it was, and set up an expectation for what it was not.

So I don’t know what to call this recipe. It isn’t ice cream. It is frozen banana dessert that you’ve probably seen a dozen times plus on pinterest labeled as healthy ice cream or two ingredient ice cream. If you haven’t tried it, try it. Don’t expect ice cream. Make your mind a blank slate and be open to a new taste. It is definitely banana flavored. If you don’t like banana, you probably won’t like it.

    It’s not ice cream.

Have I made that point? Well here’s the recipe.

Take two very ripe bananas, slice them into circles, and freeze in a ziptop bag or other container until frozen solid. Place the banana pieces into the bowl of your food processor and process until they are a chunky gravel consistency. Slowly add your favorite non-dairy milk (I used coconut for this one) until the mixture is creamy and resembles soft serve ice cream. I probably used about 3 tablespoons. Then you can either stir in (for bigger chunks) or process in (for smaller bits) 1/4 cup each dark chocolate chips and unsweetened coconut. Eat it as is for a soft dessert, or freeze it solid for a scoopable not-ice cream.

What should it be called? That’s what I’m struggling with. Ideas?


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